I am exhausted, physically, my arms and thighs mostly. No reason other than my condition, Crohn’s Disease, at play. Along with the debilitating cramps, urgency for the loo and continuing fear of not actually making the toilet – that’s right I’m an almost thirty year old man who lives with the idea, the fear, that I may one day I maybe too far from any toilet and shit myself. I have come close a few times. Makes wearing really light trousers out the question, which is not actually a bad thing – I get fatigued. It can be very irritating, frustrating and, strangely, it makes me feel guilty. Guilt at the fact that I can’t find the strength to move, to lift, even the slightest or silliest of things, like walking up and down my stairs makes me sore. It can be hard to watch the world turn, and your love ones work around you and want to help but just can’t find the energy. I feel like I have been hit by a bus or raging bull. Now it’s not every day nor all the time, it’s just bouts, little swings and roundabouts, just bums me out when it is in full swing. Photography, along with my partner, friends and family, help me to escape and keep moving forward. They support me while photography gets me out of my own head. I am luck and thankful for that.
I have written about this before, not in too much detail just some high level stuff. After rereading a few of my post I get an insight into my mind at the time, the thoughts of the moment, the general ramblings of a madman and feel that there is a little to a lotto repetition to what I write. Because of this revelation and in an attempt to improve myself I think I am going to develop the way I write about my work. I think the new step forward will be to blog less but with more context, more structure, still ramblings but specifically aimed ramblings that have more body and weight to them. I’m thinking a good, well written piece that’s got a thought through theme would be better. Right now the idea is looking like one post a month with maybe one or two articles that are based on or around a photo I’ve taken in between. A proper breakdown, the start, middle and end of it all. I think it would be better and help me get great balance of work, play and rest.
This photo was taken as a quick one shot snap. Now that may seem like luck but it actually took around a week and about fifteen different shots to get the one I wanted. It is a pattern I often follow when I find a place I like; explore every angle, check it out at different times of days, snapping different people going different directions, through in different ways, everything I can possible think of until I realise exactly what it is I like about the scene and I know exactly how to get it. Sounds like a lot I like my method. It’s not how I get all my photos but at least sixty to seventy percent of my images comes through this way of working. And surprisingly it never feels as repetitive as it sounds… lets just hope my images are not as repetitive as it sounds…
Here is the scene about two to three days before I go the final shot. Here Boss is helping my work the scene and because of that I was able to have an idea of what the situation would look like while the sun is at a certain position in the sky and how it would look when someone else wanders through the scene. Foundational work like this really does help give me an understanding about my surroundings. So ‘the shot’ may have all been caught in one single frame but only thanks to the constant groundwork that has come before it.
The original image was not too far off the finished piece. All I did was crop the image, heightened the contrast and increased the vibrancy. Job done. I’m off to rest.
For anyone out there with a marker, I have not checked this post or errors. Feel free to read, mark and send all correction to me. Thank you advance.
All thoughts and comments are welcome.